The Privilege of Being a Mother

 I read on article on Yahoo this morning about the opposite of a 'Tiger Mom,' which unfortunately is the abandonment of one's children.  The article listed two women that essentially chose their careers over their children.  I am not talking about dropping kids off at day care at 6 am and a babysitter picking them up at 5 pm, so the mother can work late at the office.  I am talking about these women that moved 3,000 miles from their children and signed custody over to their exes.  One of the mothers said, "I did not have the life a normal 20 year old would have. While I don't regret that, I knew that I now have the opportunity to reconnect with who I might have been then."

So here's my response to that quote:

I do not have the life of a normal 23 year old. I graduated in 2009 from college and while other people were starting their careers, I took a test and you know what, it was positive.  Everything changed in that moment.  I chose motherhood, late night feedings, and constant worrying over a single, partying, carefree lifestyle.  While some people are buying nice handbags, I am searching for the best deal on diapers.  While some people dine out several times a week, I clip coupons so I can put food on my family's table.  While other people are spending money on what I would say is crap, I am saving every penny for a college fund.  The sacrifices I have made, so that I can be a mother have been great.  There are some days that I think if I only had a job we could save money for a house.  Then I look at my daughter.  I sacrificed having a job and a house and a little financial breathing room for staying home with my baby and watching her grow this first year. 

Do I have my regrets? Sure.  I wish I had had a job before I got pregnant.  I wish I had a house. And savings. And a retirement plan.  But if I had all that I would have missed that moment when my precious Ava Rose was conceived.  She is a once in a lifetime opportunity that I am so glad that I did not miss. So how can I have regrets when I have this amazing gift.

And do I want to "have the opportunity to reconnect with who I might have been then?" HELL NO!!!    If I reconnected to who I might have been in my twenties as a single, childless woman, I would have to give up my family, my daughter.  No. Not doing it.

Everyone can make their own choices, but you still have to live with the choices you make.  I can not imagine not seeing my daughter's smiling face every day.  I can not imagine having someone other than myself raising my daughter.  Being a mother is a privilege.  It's something you earn.  Motherhood should never be something that a person can pick and choose when they want to be part of their child's life.  It's a privilege and I thank God every day for giving me that baby I call Ava. I thank Him for the path of Motherhood that He has led me on.  And He can keep leading me down that path.  And I will follow Him. 

Breastfeeding 201: Mommy Essentials

After thinking about my last post on Breastfeeding, I decided I needed to dig deeper into the subject of breastfeeding.  Breastfeeding is a complex art.  Everyone is different and everyone's experience is different.  Remember, I am NOT an expert.  I've only been doing it for six months.

Nursing Bra: Definitely a must in the beginning.  When you have a bra on that has underwire in it, it can effect the baby properly latching on.  Your boob needs to be free so baby can properly latch.  I've noticed that the position of my boob is the determining factor of whether or not Ava will properly latch.  Now that I have gotten the hang of breastfeeding, I wear a regular bra or a sports bra.  I just pull the bra up or down to get my boob ready.

Sleep Bra: A wise plastic surgeon once told me that every woman should wear a sleep bra. Doesn't matter if their boobies are big or small, a sleep bra every night.  He turned to me and said, "Especially breastfeeding women." So I own a sleep bra.  I need to get another one, but I am kinda cheap.  I don't wear it every night, because I have to wash it after I wear it.  Shame on me.  Get a sleep bra whether you are breastfeeding or not.  It can help the effects of gravity.

Nursing Cover: When I was pregnant I found a website that offered free nursing covers with a coupon code at checkout.  All you had to do was pay shipping.  I paid the 6 bucks and ordered 4.  When I got them in them in the mail I realized that I could have made them myself.  Nursing covers are essentially a yard of fabric with another strip attached that goes around your neck and is connected to the cover with a belt loop thing (not sure of the proper name).  I love my nursing covers, because blankets can easily fall down when a baby is moving her arms wildly.  I've worn my cover at church, at restaurants, in the park, and when we visit other people in their homes.  At home, I let it all hang out.  I have never had a problem with breastfeeding in public.  I think that if you are covered up it is not a big deal.  I know some people will not breastfeed in public and there's nothing wrong with that either.

 

Burp Cloths: Burp clothes, receiving blankets, paper towels, a sock, whatever, as long as it absorbs liquid.  Put them on the boob that baby is not on.  From my own experience, when I am feeding Ava the other boob starts flowing with TM.  After baby is done eating, wipe her mouth with the cloth, then burp her.

Nursing Pads: In the beginning I bought the disposable nursing pads from Babies R Us.  I tried the Lansinoh ones, but they would fold up and never really worked for me.  I tried the Avent ones. Same thing.  Then I tried the Playtex nursing pads.  These pads had tape over the entire back, so they stayed in place.  Nursing pads are expensive. $8-$10 for a box of 60.  That comes out to 13-16 cents per pad. Or 26-32 cents per use.  Which really adds up.  One of my aunts suggested that I use sanitary pads and cut them in half.  I did the math.  I can buy a package of 36 pads for 50 cents (after being on sale and using coupons).  Each pad is less than 2 cents each. .0138 to be exact.  Oh then you cut the pad in half and each nipple pad is really only .oo694 cents.  Yeah that's pretty cheap.  Don't waste your money on nursing pads. I guess if you wanted to be even cheaper, you could buy fabric remnants and sew your own....maybe I'll do that...

Nipple Cream: I used to apply this stuff religiously in the beginning.  Now I don't. My nipples are like nipples of steel.  Like I've said before, I have never experienced any nipple pain or soreness.  So I don't use the stuff.  I may use it when Miss Ava starts getting teeth.  I don't know yet, because we aren't to that point yet.

Nipple Wipes:  I used these religiously in the beginning, but they are kind of expensive considering you have to feed your baby so often.  When I am at home I use a wet wash cloth or paper towel to wipe down everything before Ava eats.  When I am on the go I use the handy nipple wipes.  

Boppy Pillow/ Other Pillows:  Like I've said before, the boppy pillow never worked for me.  I know some moms that have to have it in order to breastfeed.  When I was in the hospital, I used pillows to prop my arms and baby, which made it more comfortable.  During the first few weeks at home I used pillows for support.  After Ava got a little bit older and stronger and both of us got the breastfeeding thing down I quit using them. 

I almost forgot one last Mommy Essential....

Insulated Cup:  I have an insulated Starbucks cup that has a lid and straw that I keep filled with ice water.  I leave it on my kitchen counter or on my nightstand and I drink from it all day long.  Breastfeeding Momma's need their fluids!  Keeping my cup filled and where I can see it ensures that I will take a quick sip on my way to change a diaper or that I have a drink handy when I am nursing.

These items are things that I have found helpful, useful, and essential for me to breastfeed. 

Breasfeeding 101

One of the most common questions I have been asked since becoming a mommy is, "How is breastfeeding going?"

I always say that it is going great, which is the honest truth.  I have often marveled at how lucky Ava and myself are to be so natural at the whole thing.   On the day we brought Ava home from the hospital my lovely Aunt Sandy brought us some food (Thank goodness.  We wouldn't have eaten that first week if it weren't for her.  And I know she was looking for any reason to see our brand new baby girl!) and she asked me how it was going.  I casually said, "Oh you know, I've never breastfed anyone before and Ava, well she's never been breastfed before, so we are just figuring it out together."

So Ava and I figured it out together.  It did take a week or two to really get the hang of it.   But here we are almost 6 months into it and I can proudly say that I am exclusively breastfeeding!  There's some unexplainable sense of gratification that I receive in knowing that I am the only person that can give my daughter the nutrition that she needs.  But I've been lucky.  I never experienced any pain (So not looking forward to teething). I've never had a low milk supply.  I've never had problems with Ava latching properly.  I've never forgotten which side Ava last nursed (At least I don't think so!). No problems.  Nada.  

As I said before, we figured it out together.  The following list is my experience with breastfeeding.

• Using a boppy pillow never worked for me.  I could never quite get the pillow and Ava in the right position.
• Ava and I prefer the lying position.  Nice for me.
• I have to have a cloth, receiving blanket, tissue, anything that will absorb liquid, because my milk just comes out from both sides when Ava's nursing.  I have seriously considered using my hand breast pump during nursing so I don't waste a precious drop of titty milk.
• When we are in public, we refer to breast milk as "TM." Code word for titty milk.
• I have not needed a machine breast pump.  Ava will not take a bottle.  She prefers the boob.  I do have a manual hand breast pump that has come in handy when I have been engorged.  I used to freeze the milk, but it would go to waste because Ava is a titty baby.  Now that we are trying rice cereal, I use the TM instead of water or formula.  But I only pump when I need to.  It's a lot of work to pump!  
• If I am stressed, Ava will have a more difficult time latching on.  Sometimes I need to take a deep breath and calm down before I nurse.  

I am not an expert.  I've been doing this for 6 months.  I know that in the next 6 months I will face obstacles with breastfeeding.  But I'm committed to it.  As for Ava.....she's all about the TM.

5 Months!

Still slacking on the blog thing......

Ava turned 5 months old on February 11th.  When you have a child, the old saying, "Time Flies" takes on a completely new meaning.  I wish I could tell Ava to stop growing and changing.  Every day she is changing.  Whether it's a big milestone or a small one, my heart melts.  I love, love, love my Ava Rose.


At 5 Months, Ava....

• Loves her Mommy and her Daddy
• Loves watching the dogs run around her
• Loves to be sung and read to
• Can roll over from her back to her tummy (First Time was January 31, 2011)
• Can reach for toys hanging above her
• Is starting to chew on everything
• Favorite toy is a rubber teething ring

4 Months!

Ava is four months old!  I cannot believe that it has been four months since the first time I held my sweet baby girl for the first time.  Time really does fly!  I often catch myself holding her and thinking how much I love her.  My heart wants to explode.  I can not imagine my life without her.  She is the greatest gift and blessing from God.  Now that I'm crying I will write about all the things Miss Ava does!

At Four Months, Ava.....

• Loves, Loves, Loves her Mommy (I did not want this to happen, but she is a titty baby, literally!)
• Loves her Daddy
• Loves Taylor Swift (Playing Taylor is the only way to keep her quiet and happy in the car)
• Can roll over from her tummy to her back (Christmas Eve was the 1st time!)
• Is definitely a swing baby 
• Favorite toy is a stuffed elephant with rubber feet for teething
• Will put soft toys close to her face and in her mouth
• Is very attentive- she likes to know what is going on
• Changes every day.  I wake up every morning to her smiling face and can only imagine what amazing things she will do that day.

A Trip to the Beach

Arnold did not have work on Monday, January 3rd, so we had planned to do something as a family.  We talked about going to the museum, going to the zoo, or going to Galveston for a day trip.  The trip to Galveston was the winner.  Arnold loves to go to Galveston for little day trips.  I was really excited because the last time we went to Galveston was the day we found out if Ava was going to be a girl or a boy.  Auntie Pammie surprised us by writing the big announcement in the sand.

So Monday morning we loaded up the car and began our journey to the Island.  When we arrived we decided to eat lunch first.  Arnold is always hungry and we all know that I never pass up a meal!  We ate at a restuarant along the Sea Wall called, The Spot.  It was pretty good considering I don't care for seafood.  I ate fried shrimp with waffle fries and hush puppies.  Arnold had the Mahi Mahi with steamed veggies and potatoes. I tried the Mahi Mahi and it was actually pretty good.  I might put more effort into trying seafood instead of immediately casting it off. 

After lunch we drove to the end of the Sea Wall and back before we decided on the perfect spot to stop.  Since it was kind of chilly we needed to do a wardrobe change in the backseat.  Ava had on a long-sleeve onesie, a pair of pants, a fleece jacket, fleece pants, and booties.  We covered her in a blanket and set out.  There was a sort of concrete pier type thing that we decided to walk down.  Just as we were about to reach the end, I realized that Ava was missing one of her bunny booties.  I was afraid that a sea gull would mistaken the bootie for food, so I wanted to turn around and find it immediately.  Ava is famous for not keeping her socks on and I did not want to add another sock to to the pile of unmatched socks!  Arnold found the bootie by accident in some rocks next to the path we were walking on.  Then we went walked to the water.  I think Ava truly enjoyed herself!  She really liked seeing the sea gulls and the ocean.  She kept trying to knock the blanket down from around her head.  Paranoid Daddy was always there to immediately put the blanket back on though!  We wanted to find a seashell for Ava to commemorate her first trip to the beach.  We all know that the beaches of Galveston are not famous for their beautiful seashells that wash upon the shore, but we wanted to find a simple, little shell.  After we found two shells we realized that Ava's other bootie had fallen in the ocean.  We decided it was time to go. 

After we left the Sea Wall we drove around the Strand to scope out the shops and the cruise ships.  We even planned our next day trip to Galveston including what we were going to do and where we were going to eat lunch!  Then we headed back home!  A fun day that ended all too quickly!

2011 Here We Come!

When I started this blog my original intention was for this to be a sort of diary of my and my family's life.  I imagined myself documenting all the little things and the big experiences.  Then the real world happened.  It's hard to balance everything that you want to do.  I would love for there to be a 40 hour day, so I would have plenty of time to blog, go to the gym, clean my house, do crafts, be a perfect mommy, and make a delicious homemade meal every night.  Let's face facts- that's not going to happen.  So this New Year my resolution is to try to balance my life.  I will not make myself feel bad for not doing everything on my list.  Instead, I will strive to be a better person and make each day count.