The Privilege of Being a Mother

 I read on article on Yahoo this morning about the opposite of a 'Tiger Mom,' which unfortunately is the abandonment of one's children.  The article listed two women that essentially chose their careers over their children.  I am not talking about dropping kids off at day care at 6 am and a babysitter picking them up at 5 pm, so the mother can work late at the office.  I am talking about these women that moved 3,000 miles from their children and signed custody over to their exes.  One of the mothers said, "I did not have the life a normal 20 year old would have. While I don't regret that, I knew that I now have the opportunity to reconnect with who I might have been then."

So here's my response to that quote:

I do not have the life of a normal 23 year old. I graduated in 2009 from college and while other people were starting their careers, I took a test and you know what, it was positive.  Everything changed in that moment.  I chose motherhood, late night feedings, and constant worrying over a single, partying, carefree lifestyle.  While some people are buying nice handbags, I am searching for the best deal on diapers.  While some people dine out several times a week, I clip coupons so I can put food on my family's table.  While other people are spending money on what I would say is crap, I am saving every penny for a college fund.  The sacrifices I have made, so that I can be a mother have been great.  There are some days that I think if I only had a job we could save money for a house.  Then I look at my daughter.  I sacrificed having a job and a house and a little financial breathing room for staying home with my baby and watching her grow this first year. 

Do I have my regrets? Sure.  I wish I had had a job before I got pregnant.  I wish I had a house. And savings. And a retirement plan.  But if I had all that I would have missed that moment when my precious Ava Rose was conceived.  She is a once in a lifetime opportunity that I am so glad that I did not miss. So how can I have regrets when I have this amazing gift.

And do I want to "have the opportunity to reconnect with who I might have been then?" HELL NO!!!    If I reconnected to who I might have been in my twenties as a single, childless woman, I would have to give up my family, my daughter.  No. Not doing it.

Everyone can make their own choices, but you still have to live with the choices you make.  I can not imagine not seeing my daughter's smiling face every day.  I can not imagine having someone other than myself raising my daughter.  Being a mother is a privilege.  It's something you earn.  Motherhood should never be something that a person can pick and choose when they want to be part of their child's life.  It's a privilege and I thank God every day for giving me that baby I call Ava. I thank Him for the path of Motherhood that He has led me on.  And He can keep leading me down that path.  And I will follow Him.