And I Rocked and Prayed

Today is my birthday.  I'm 24 years old as of 10:40 am.  To be honest though, the day could have come and gone.  About a week ago I was writing something on my calendar and I noticed, in my sister's handwriting, "Colleen's 24th Birthday!" marked on the calendar.  And I thought, "Oh Wow!  My birthday is coming up."  They say that you forget your birthday as you get older.  I think that you forget your birthday when you have a child.  It doesn't matter if you get a cake and candles and few phone calls on your birthday.  What does matter is the day your child came into the world.  You think about her cake and candles and the phone calls she will get on her day, not yours.

This morning I woke up early.  Really early. Like 5:30 in the morning.   My Love gave me a few morning birthday kisses and brought me coffee.  And as I laid in bed sipping my coffee, I watched my baby sleep.  She was sprawled out.  Hands stretched out from her sides.  Legs crossed at her ankles.  Oh, she was beautiful!  

Then I got the urge to rock her.  I wanted to hold her close and rock her.  So I gently picked her up and went to her room.  It was still dark out.  With dogs on the floor by my feet and the moon beginning to drift to sleep, I rocked my baby.  I rocked her in the still of the morning.  Before people rush to their jobs, before the morning paper hits the front step, before the day begins, I rocked my baby.  

Then I began to pray.  I prayed for God to watch over my baby.  For Him to guide her.  Spare her from pain and heartache.  I prayed that she would never experience sadness and loss.  I prayed for her safety.  I prayed that she would never experience misfortune.  I prayed for myself.  I prayed for the Lord to guide me and help me guide Ava on the right path.  I prayed for the strength to be a good mother.  I prayed for the strength that I would need when I watch my sweet baby experience pain and heartache and sadness and loss and misfortune.  I prayed that He would give her strength when she experiences pain and heartache and sadness, and loss and misfortune.  I rocked and prayed, rocked and prayed, rocked and prayed.